My mother's intution has been telling me for weeks now that I'm carrying the future all star pitcher for the Chicago Cubs! (and since girls cant play major league baseball, this means I think I'm having a boy) I have an ultrasound in a little over two weeks, which hopefully will settle the blue or pink nursery discussion for good. However, Grandma saw a "pee on a stick/find out the gender of your baby test" at the store and decided that, of course, I had to have it.
Let me just say -- this is not a pee on the stick kinda test. This is the most complicated science experiment I've ever done. And I used to win science fairs people! There's multiple cups, a syringey thing, a cup full of crystals, and a precise timing method. But I decided to humor mom and try it out. I must say, after getting urine all over the place (seriously, black light our bathroom right now, I bet its mighty contaminated), the timed 5 minutes are up (the exact, and only, time this test will show you an accurate result according to the box), I check the cup of crystals/urine, sitting on a white surface, at eye level, without picking the cup up (these are the scientific rules) and .... I couldn't really tell. It was yellow for a girl/green for a boy. My cup was green on the bottom/yellow on the top. If I had to guess what color it was closer to, I'd have to go green. Looks like my pitcher is on his way!!
Though I've been feeling that for a good 10 weeks now and did not need to get urine all over the place to "confirm" it .... (thanks for thinking of me though Mom! xo)
*On the record, Scott thinks its a girl ... tune in on the 16th of March to see who is right!*
Monday, February 28, 2011
Lessons learned ...
I mean, is it any surprise that my child is already making things super dramatic?! .... Yea, I didn't think so. Boy or girl, this kid is gonna have some of its mommy in it, and well, that's just unfortunate on some levels. ;)
Today was my "report back to the doctors to see if I have figured out a way to gain weight yet" day. And, I am proud to report, that even though I forced fed myself all week through tears (due to nausea, not a mental inability to eat), I gained a little weight!! Yay!! About a pound (give or take), but gained nonetheless and that makes doctors happy! (And overly stressed out mommies too!) But, being the drama queen that I am so often referred to as, I could not just go to the doctor and spend 20 minutes there (a record today, might I add, I was in the office, seen, and out in 20 minutes!! *as compared to the 2+ hours it usually takes*). Nope. I had a tiny, miniscule accident along the way, thus complicating the matters.
Let's set the scene, shall we? Chicago. End of February. Sunday night. Sleeting rain/wind/cold/snow? Perhaps. I stayed in. Monday morning. Ice. A blanket of it. Over the sidewalks, the grass, the streets, the cars. Ugh. My mom and my husband both left me notes/texts reminding me "its icy, please be careful today!" So I was ready. Scott has taken to salting a path for me from our front door to my car (isn't he a keeper?), but his efforts become wasted because in his 4:30am leaving for work stupor, it doesn't cross his mind that our dog needs to be walked a tad further than my salt path expands. *No fault to my love, he's always thinking of me--thanks magoo!* I turned right, saw the expanse of ice, and said "No Maize, lets go the other way, that looks safer." Wrong. Dog pulls, I slip, Bump! Down. I managed to bang up the left side of my arse and my right knee (how I hit them both, I cannot figure out) but got up, a little freaked out, but okay. Didn't hit that hard, didn't go flying, didn't have the wind knocked out of me. Called my mom and Scott who both assured me "you didn't fall on your tummy, as long as you feel ok, you should be fine" Banged up knee aside, I felt okay. But luckily for me, I was headed to the doctor anyways ....
Normal convo at my dr appts is
nurse: "how are you feeling today"
me: "nausea, constipated, achy, a little crampy, probably gas, but ya know kicking"
and today i added "oh and i fell on the ice this morning, but I haven't felt weird just concerned about it"
The nurse left and ever so quickly (record timing i swear!) my doctor came in. She told me "yay you gained weight keep doing what you're doing BUT this whole fall thing is kinda a problem" I was like yea ok check the baby's heartbeat, make sure everythings alright for my piece of mine (which she did, heartbeat is strong :)) Then she explained the kicker. I am a negative blood type. Most people are positive. Until trooper is born, they have to assume he/she is positive. If, during my fall, the baby's red blood cells entered my blood stream, then my red blood cells would be like "ah no you are an enemy" and start creating antibodies to kill the baby's blood cells, thus my body would turn on the baby and start attacking it! Now I mean for someone with an overdramatic imagination, I could have gone without knowing this.
So I spent another couple of hours down the street in the hospital (I think I'll start referring to Northwestern as my home away from home) while they checked the baby again (heartbeat still strong), took more urine from me (seriously how many times can a girl pee in a cup in a hour), and took a lot of blood (ahh! needles still hurt me). Eventually, they let me leave, and have since notified me that there was no sign of fetal blood in my blood. Good news! Yay! However, I did find out today that because of my negative blood I will be receiving injections of <somethingicantremember> later in my pregnancy, at delivery, and during further pregnancies so that at no time my body will start building up antibodies to destroy fetuses! Scary!
Quite the eventful day for one that could have an included a ten minute check in ...
Today was my "report back to the doctors to see if I have figured out a way to gain weight yet" day. And, I am proud to report, that even though I forced fed myself all week through tears (due to nausea, not a mental inability to eat), I gained a little weight!! Yay!! About a pound (give or take), but gained nonetheless and that makes doctors happy! (And overly stressed out mommies too!) But, being the drama queen that I am so often referred to as, I could not just go to the doctor and spend 20 minutes there (a record today, might I add, I was in the office, seen, and out in 20 minutes!! *as compared to the 2+ hours it usually takes*). Nope. I had a tiny, miniscule accident along the way, thus complicating the matters.
Let's set the scene, shall we? Chicago. End of February. Sunday night. Sleeting rain/wind/cold/snow? Perhaps. I stayed in. Monday morning. Ice. A blanket of it. Over the sidewalks, the grass, the streets, the cars. Ugh. My mom and my husband both left me notes/texts reminding me "its icy, please be careful today!" So I was ready. Scott has taken to salting a path for me from our front door to my car (isn't he a keeper?), but his efforts become wasted because in his 4:30am leaving for work stupor, it doesn't cross his mind that our dog needs to be walked a tad further than my salt path expands. *No fault to my love, he's always thinking of me--thanks magoo!* I turned right, saw the expanse of ice, and said "No Maize, lets go the other way, that looks safer." Wrong. Dog pulls, I slip, Bump! Down. I managed to bang up the left side of my arse and my right knee (how I hit them both, I cannot figure out) but got up, a little freaked out, but okay. Didn't hit that hard, didn't go flying, didn't have the wind knocked out of me. Called my mom and Scott who both assured me "you didn't fall on your tummy, as long as you feel ok, you should be fine" Banged up knee aside, I felt okay. But luckily for me, I was headed to the doctor anyways ....
Normal convo at my dr appts is
nurse: "how are you feeling today"
me: "nausea, constipated, achy, a little crampy, probably gas, but ya know kicking"
and today i added "oh and i fell on the ice this morning, but I haven't felt weird just concerned about it"
The nurse left and ever so quickly (record timing i swear!) my doctor came in. She told me "yay you gained weight keep doing what you're doing BUT this whole fall thing is kinda a problem" I was like yea ok check the baby's heartbeat, make sure everythings alright for my piece of mine (which she did, heartbeat is strong :)) Then she explained the kicker. I am a negative blood type. Most people are positive. Until trooper is born, they have to assume he/she is positive. If, during my fall, the baby's red blood cells entered my blood stream, then my red blood cells would be like "ah no you are an enemy" and start creating antibodies to kill the baby's blood cells, thus my body would turn on the baby and start attacking it! Now I mean for someone with an overdramatic imagination, I could have gone without knowing this.
So I spent another couple of hours down the street in the hospital (I think I'll start referring to Northwestern as my home away from home) while they checked the baby again (heartbeat still strong), took more urine from me (seriously how many times can a girl pee in a cup in a hour), and took a lot of blood (ahh! needles still hurt me). Eventually, they let me leave, and have since notified me that there was no sign of fetal blood in my blood. Good news! Yay! However, I did find out today that because of my negative blood I will be receiving injections of <somethingicantremember> later in my pregnancy, at delivery, and during further pregnancies so that at no time my body will start building up antibodies to destroy fetuses! Scary!
Quite the eventful day for one that could have an included a ten minute check in ...
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
16 week update!!
Monday was my 16 week appointment! That means only 4 more weeks till halfway point! Which is good, because I have been, and continue to be, sick, since week 13, sooo, the sooner we get this baby cooked, the better!!
After waiting two freaking hours from my appointment time (oh the price you pay for the best), I got to see the doctor and spill all of my current anxiety fears about the babe. (Well, i did leave out the overwhelming feeling that I'm spauning a vampire/alien/creature who, in true Twilight fashion, is stealing all of my nutrients in an effort to gain strength on me and eventually overpower me and gnaw its way out of my uterus and abdomen leaving my remains in a bloody heap on the floor. I feel my doctor may be sending me down the hall to the psych ward if i say too much.) But alas, the doc says the baby is fine. Or you know, as fine as a cervical exam and heartbeat listen can tell. *All was well with the cervix and baby's heartbeat was beating strong, if youre interested ;)*
Mommy is still having issues though. Damn that scale. You will it to keep going down most of your life and then you want it to go up and it just will not. Turns out, I am loosing weight still. This is not a personal choice. I do understand that gaining weight=a healthy babe. However, when you get sick on almost everything you've eaten (coming from a girl who hasn't had a terribly diverse appetite for years to begin with), you start to run out of things to eat. Thus, problem. But no worries. I shall conquer the issue! I'm on a new medication regime in hopes that if we (baby safely) keep my body medicated enough, it won't have time to get sick, and the food will go in and stay in and the scale can start rising. I have one week (5 days now!) before I report back for a weight in. Wish me luck!!
*Dear baby, if you're reading this someday, just know, it was bad, but you were so worth it! <3*
After waiting two freaking hours from my appointment time (oh the price you pay for the best), I got to see the doctor and spill all of my current anxiety fears about the babe. (Well, i did leave out the overwhelming feeling that I'm spauning a vampire/alien/creature who, in true Twilight fashion, is stealing all of my nutrients in an effort to gain strength on me and eventually overpower me and gnaw its way out of my uterus and abdomen leaving my remains in a bloody heap on the floor. I feel my doctor may be sending me down the hall to the psych ward if i say too much.) But alas, the doc says the baby is fine. Or you know, as fine as a cervical exam and heartbeat listen can tell. *All was well with the cervix and baby's heartbeat was beating strong, if youre interested ;)*
Mommy is still having issues though. Damn that scale. You will it to keep going down most of your life and then you want it to go up and it just will not. Turns out, I am loosing weight still. This is not a personal choice. I do understand that gaining weight=a healthy babe. However, when you get sick on almost everything you've eaten (coming from a girl who hasn't had a terribly diverse appetite for years to begin with), you start to run out of things to eat. Thus, problem. But no worries. I shall conquer the issue! I'm on a new medication regime in hopes that if we (baby safely) keep my body medicated enough, it won't have time to get sick, and the food will go in and stay in and the scale can start rising. I have one week (5 days now!) before I report back for a weight in. Wish me luck!!
*Dear baby, if you're reading this someday, just know, it was bad, but you were so worth it! <3*
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Oh, the irony ...
For the last fifteen (at least!) years, I have concerned myself with my weight. (I'm an actress -- it happens!) I have always been a pretty normal sized girl. (Semester in London aside of course -- eek! Lots of beer and midnight mcdonalds runs apparently raise you to astronomoical numbers on the scale) But, being in the world of film, my weight has always been on my mind. I've been watching myself on film since I was ... twelve? maybe? ... and the camera does indeed add ten pounds so I've always been grossly aware of how "big" or "small" I was at any particular time (and I have a number of vhs tapes to prove it!) I tried many things in my life to loose the "extra weight." Sometimes I worked really hard and fit in morning and afternoon workouts. Sometimes I tried not to eat anything but fruit and vegetables. Sometimes I tried a diet pill (fyi-they work for about a week, thats it). And even though I've always fell in a truly healthy (and far from fat) weight range, I've even had producers ask "do you think can loose ten pounds by our first shoot day?"
It was only a couple years ago that I truly became "ok" with my body type. I won't lie and say it happened at my biggest moment. Truthfully it happened at my smallest (who knew planning a wedding would stress me enough to drop 30 lbs. without realizing it!). But since my wedding, I've gained at least of a third of it back and have settled into healthy, happy, I fit into my 2-4 sized jeans, and I'm not super concerned with producers (minus Spielberg of course) asking me to "cut the fat." I eat healthy, but I don't deny myself goodies. I go to the gym, but mostly because I feel better after a workout, not because I'm trying to hit an ideal weight.
I thought all of my weight issues (or you know, at least a bulk of them) would end when I became pregnant. I have talked to Scott for years about the nervousness of gaining pregnancy weight and would I be able to loose it and would I be okay with the extra stuff that hangs around and so on and so on. I had comes to terms with "eating for two" doesnt mean eating everything in sight, but I did need to let myself be okay with a little more guilt free eating. I mean, after fifteen years don't I deserve nine months of a few more ice cream cones a month! I was actually excited for the weight pressure to sort of be "off" for a while, so I could just focus on eating when I was hungry and not feeling like I needed a 3 hour work-out afterwards.
And lo and behold, what happens?? I can't eat anything! Ok, I'm exaggerating. I can eat a little. But all those brownies I was excited about? Yea, not appetizing. I'm fifteen weeks preggo and I haven't gained a pound. In fact, I'm still loosing weight. Now I realize this post will become void after May when I'm crying to Scott about how much weight I've gained and how I'm never going to be able to loose it and no one hires normal actresses, you have to be skinny or fat, and now I'm just going to be short and ugly forever. But right now, I'm frustrated. I've searched for years for the miracle diet and of course, here it is, get pregnant!
Finally, for the first time since I was a naive child, I can eat food without guilt (ya know to a normal extent) and I can't eat friggin food! And when you're hormonal and you know you're loosing weight, not gaining it, you begin to see your baby withering away to nothing (because I'm sure that's how it happens). And I want a cute little pregnant belly!
So, if you have a free moment, please pray for me and my baby and my appetite. Because I know that poor child is hungry and gosh darnit, I want to feed it! :)
It was only a couple years ago that I truly became "ok" with my body type. I won't lie and say it happened at my biggest moment. Truthfully it happened at my smallest (who knew planning a wedding would stress me enough to drop 30 lbs. without realizing it!). But since my wedding, I've gained at least of a third of it back and have settled into healthy, happy, I fit into my 2-4 sized jeans, and I'm not super concerned with producers (minus Spielberg of course) asking me to "cut the fat." I eat healthy, but I don't deny myself goodies. I go to the gym, but mostly because I feel better after a workout, not because I'm trying to hit an ideal weight.
I thought all of my weight issues (or you know, at least a bulk of them) would end when I became pregnant. I have talked to Scott for years about the nervousness of gaining pregnancy weight and would I be able to loose it and would I be okay with the extra stuff that hangs around and so on and so on. I had comes to terms with "eating for two" doesnt mean eating everything in sight, but I did need to let myself be okay with a little more guilt free eating. I mean, after fifteen years don't I deserve nine months of a few more ice cream cones a month! I was actually excited for the weight pressure to sort of be "off" for a while, so I could just focus on eating when I was hungry and not feeling like I needed a 3 hour work-out afterwards.
And lo and behold, what happens?? I can't eat anything! Ok, I'm exaggerating. I can eat a little. But all those brownies I was excited about? Yea, not appetizing. I'm fifteen weeks preggo and I haven't gained a pound. In fact, I'm still loosing weight. Now I realize this post will become void after May when I'm crying to Scott about how much weight I've gained and how I'm never going to be able to loose it and no one hires normal actresses, you have to be skinny or fat, and now I'm just going to be short and ugly forever. But right now, I'm frustrated. I've searched for years for the miracle diet and of course, here it is, get pregnant!
Finally, for the first time since I was a naive child, I can eat food without guilt (ya know to a normal extent) and I can't eat friggin food! And when you're hormonal and you know you're loosing weight, not gaining it, you begin to see your baby withering away to nothing (because I'm sure that's how it happens). And I want a cute little pregnant belly!
So, if you have a free moment, please pray for me and my baby and my appetite. Because I know that poor child is hungry and gosh darnit, I want to feed it! :)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The first trimester, for better, or worse ....
Monday I woke up fresh and ready to start my 2nd trimester ... it did not go as miraculously as I had hoped. Let me recap the 1st trimester for you, and you'll see what I'm talking about ...
*The Decisions*
Scott and I had been talking about starting to try for a baby in the spring of 2011 ... fooled you! No really we had. We had everything perfectly though out. Planning a last big blowout vacation beforehand, giving the condo enough time to be worth what we need it to to sell, having a baby by the time I'm 30, but not too far before. Everything was perfectly thought out. Except the one eeny tiny bitty factor. We didn't want to wait anymore. I wanted a baby in the spring/summer. (This is Chicago people, I did not want to bring the baby home in a blizzard, or more importantly, go into labor in a blizzard. How women did it last week I'm not sure but I give big props!) This means that we would have had to wait till June of 2011 to start trying. And even then, that brought us awfully close to a due date of Feb. 29, 2012, something I promised I would never subject my child too (a birthday once every four years! for shame!). So it was now or never (or next year really, but I'm dramatic). We decided to "leave it up to God." Good Catholic kids right here. And God said, "Kids, its time." Was it the right decision? Well maybe not in consideration of the Chicago housing market, but in all other aspects, Yes, absolutely.
*The Sickness*
"How are you feeling?" Everyone's first response to "I'm pregnant!" Truth? Not good. I started getting sick at week 3. At week 7, I was hospitalized for intense dehydration. Apparently, not eating and lots of vomiting, not a good combonation. Upside! We get to test out the hospital before the baby comes. Ha. (For the record--it was nice, real nice). Second upside! Once you get hospitalized, the doctors give you totally-safe-for-your-baby medication! Zofran is my best friend. No, for real. It has even taken the place of my pink bucket that has been known to sleep in my bed between me and Scott. Though it's great (it does keep the food down), it's not a miracle (I still feel super icky). I have been patiently waiting for the end of the first trimester and the miraculous end of my all day sickness. I'm still waiting ...
*The Shopping*
Call me crazy if you must, but I've been keeping a "baby" notebook for the last year or so. It is filled with all kinds of stuff. List of baby names (transferred from a computer list I've had since I ... got a computer?), questions about pregnancy, options for family cars, pictures of nurseries and colors of nurseries and rugs and wall decorations that I've seen in the last couple of years that could possibly help me build my nursery. I've been going into baby stores for years now just to get ideas of what I want when it's time for the all important ... shopping for baby! And now, I finally get to do just that! Sorta. I can hold off the nausea for an hour or so a day which leaves me very little shopping time I've learned. I've also learned I'm not so big on neutral colors, so when we shop, I bring my notebook and write down ideas for boys or girls. I have to wait 5 more weeks to actually buy cool stuff I guess. (Don't worry I've bought a couple impulse onesies and bath toys to ease the pain). Cribs are hard. I'm not the best decision maker and there are so very many choices (more on this in a later post). Though, for the record, yesterday, Scott and I made an actual decision ... we found a boy's bedding set that we both love! Score! Now little baby, are you a boy or a girl .....
*Chinese gender prediction says its a girl, I found myself referring to it as a boy very early on ... time will tell*
*The Decisions*
Scott and I had been talking about starting to try for a baby in the spring of 2011 ... fooled you! No really we had. We had everything perfectly though out. Planning a last big blowout vacation beforehand, giving the condo enough time to be worth what we need it to to sell, having a baby by the time I'm 30, but not too far before. Everything was perfectly thought out. Except the one eeny tiny bitty factor. We didn't want to wait anymore. I wanted a baby in the spring/summer. (This is Chicago people, I did not want to bring the baby home in a blizzard, or more importantly, go into labor in a blizzard. How women did it last week I'm not sure but I give big props!) This means that we would have had to wait till June of 2011 to start trying. And even then, that brought us awfully close to a due date of Feb. 29, 2012, something I promised I would never subject my child too (a birthday once every four years! for shame!). So it was now or never (or next year really, but I'm dramatic). We decided to "leave it up to God." Good Catholic kids right here. And God said, "Kids, its time." Was it the right decision? Well maybe not in consideration of the Chicago housing market, but in all other aspects, Yes, absolutely.
*The Sickness*
"How are you feeling?" Everyone's first response to "I'm pregnant!" Truth? Not good. I started getting sick at week 3. At week 7, I was hospitalized for intense dehydration. Apparently, not eating and lots of vomiting, not a good combonation. Upside! We get to test out the hospital before the baby comes. Ha. (For the record--it was nice, real nice). Second upside! Once you get hospitalized, the doctors give you totally-safe-for-your-baby medication! Zofran is my best friend. No, for real. It has even taken the place of my pink bucket that has been known to sleep in my bed between me and Scott. Though it's great (it does keep the food down), it's not a miracle (I still feel super icky). I have been patiently waiting for the end of the first trimester and the miraculous end of my all day sickness. I'm still waiting ...
*The Shopping*
Call me crazy if you must, but I've been keeping a "baby" notebook for the last year or so. It is filled with all kinds of stuff. List of baby names (transferred from a computer list I've had since I ... got a computer?), questions about pregnancy, options for family cars, pictures of nurseries and colors of nurseries and rugs and wall decorations that I've seen in the last couple of years that could possibly help me build my nursery. I've been going into baby stores for years now just to get ideas of what I want when it's time for the all important ... shopping for baby! And now, I finally get to do just that! Sorta. I can hold off the nausea for an hour or so a day which leaves me very little shopping time I've learned. I've also learned I'm not so big on neutral colors, so when we shop, I bring my notebook and write down ideas for boys or girls. I have to wait 5 more weeks to actually buy cool stuff I guess. (Don't worry I've bought a couple impulse onesies and bath toys to ease the pain). Cribs are hard. I'm not the best decision maker and there are so very many choices (more on this in a later post). Though, for the record, yesterday, Scott and I made an actual decision ... we found a boy's bedding set that we both love! Score! Now little baby, are you a boy or a girl .....
*Chinese gender prediction says its a girl, I found myself referring to it as a boy very early on ... time will tell*
The baby is, officially, cooking :)
Well. We've decided its time to share this with the rest of the world. BABY MORAN IS ON HIS/HER WAY!!! Yay!! Scott and I can't wait! Maizy, on the other hand, eehhhh... we're not too sure yet. Pretty sure we did an awesome job of raising our dog as a human so we're pretty sure she's about to experience some sibling rivalry. But the good news is, we're already raising a human, so you know. how hard can an actual one be ;)
No for seriousness. This summer Scott and I will spend our 4th year of marriage (June 9th), our 6th year together (July 9th), and welcome our first baby (August 7th!!). How quickly time does fly my friends! It was only 7 years ago that I was partying my way through Europe planning to move back out there as soon as college was over to, I don't know, stalk Prince William until he agreed to marry and support me? I'm not sure. But times, they have changed. And I, for one, could not be happier on where life has led me. The last ten years of my life I have lived in Chicago, New York City, and London, traveled over both oceans to many beautiful and exotic locations, had a buttload (highly technical terms coming here) of traumatizing and amazing experiences, fell in love with my soulmate, bought property in a major city, acted in over 30 films projects, became momma to the cutest miniature golden doodle in the world, and visited Disney World, Disneyland, and Disneyland Paris! It may not be success to everyone, but it is to me. There was just one thing missing. And now, as I inch closer and closer to ... <thirty> ... it is time to venture into my next dream. Being a mommy.
It's a tough decision to come upon. Not because I didn't think I wanted to be a mother or because I didn't think I could "handle" the stress of raising a child. I've known since I was a wee one that I wanted to grow up, marry Scott (oh yeah true story), and have lots of cute little babies. But it was a hard decision, nonetheless, because I always knew that when it was time for me to become a momma, that's what I wanted to be. Not a momma who is throwing up her food post pregnancy because I have to be smaller at that audition or not getting to put my baby to sleep at night because I have rehearsal or not being able to take my family on vacations because I have to "keep that month open in case maybe possibly I got cast in that one show that's auditioning every young actress around next month". Therein is where the hard decision lies. I, by no means, want acting to be over forever in my life. But for me, being a full time mother is another dream I have. And acting isn't like "going back to the office" after the baby. It has other demands that can take quite an emotional toll on your well being and that is something that I don't want to sacrifice for my baby, at least not when he/she's a baby. I want to enjoy motherhood. I want to be able to spend as much time as we can monetarily afford with my children. Because (I know I'm not a mom yet, but I am too well aware of this), babies grow up. FAST. And if there's anything I can do to cherish that time with them, I want to do it. There will always be time later to stretch those acting muscles. And, let's be honest here for a moment, I've been auditioning professionally since I was twelve years old. I'm exhausted.
So now, we move on to mommyhood! (Don't worry my dearest progressive women friends, I have many wonderful ideas once my kids get school-aged on ways to continue in my acting passion and be home to give me kids a snack-- I promise!) But for right this moment, I am going to enjoy being pregnant and anticipate my little one!!
For Christmas this year, I got a pregnancy journal from my future son or daughter (already the good shopper! Maybe it's a girl?). But being the procrastinator I am, I have not filled much in past the "my doctor is" section. Soooo I shall use this blog to keep up with my pregnancy. Sadly I'm a child of the future, not the past, and I'm a much faster typer than writer. I will be sharing all the joys (whats the sex, is it kicking, i bought a crib!) and the not so joys (how in God's name am i STILL sick) that I get to experience along the way! If you're interested, read away. If you're not, stop reading :). *I mean seriously what is with people reading other people's blogs just to judge them, if you dont like what you're reading, why are you wasting your time.* But beware, I am a couple weeks behind (I admitted I was a procrastinator, admitting is the first step), so there may be a lot at once. :)
But please join me as Scott and I navigate our way through birthing and raising our baby .... Today, I'm 14 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Buckle up kids, its gonna be a bumpy ride ....
No for seriousness. This summer Scott and I will spend our 4th year of marriage (June 9th), our 6th year together (July 9th), and welcome our first baby (August 7th!!). How quickly time does fly my friends! It was only 7 years ago that I was partying my way through Europe planning to move back out there as soon as college was over to, I don't know, stalk Prince William until he agreed to marry and support me? I'm not sure. But times, they have changed. And I, for one, could not be happier on where life has led me. The last ten years of my life I have lived in Chicago, New York City, and London, traveled over both oceans to many beautiful and exotic locations, had a buttload (highly technical terms coming here) of traumatizing and amazing experiences, fell in love with my soulmate, bought property in a major city, acted in over 30 films projects, became momma to the cutest miniature golden doodle in the world, and visited Disney World, Disneyland, and Disneyland Paris! It may not be success to everyone, but it is to me. There was just one thing missing. And now, as I inch closer and closer to ... <thirty> ... it is time to venture into my next dream. Being a mommy.
It's a tough decision to come upon. Not because I didn't think I wanted to be a mother or because I didn't think I could "handle" the stress of raising a child. I've known since I was a wee one that I wanted to grow up, marry Scott (oh yeah true story), and have lots of cute little babies. But it was a hard decision, nonetheless, because I always knew that when it was time for me to become a momma, that's what I wanted to be. Not a momma who is throwing up her food post pregnancy because I have to be smaller at that audition or not getting to put my baby to sleep at night because I have rehearsal or not being able to take my family on vacations because I have to "keep that month open in case maybe possibly I got cast in that one show that's auditioning every young actress around next month". Therein is where the hard decision lies. I, by no means, want acting to be over forever in my life. But for me, being a full time mother is another dream I have. And acting isn't like "going back to the office" after the baby. It has other demands that can take quite an emotional toll on your well being and that is something that I don't want to sacrifice for my baby, at least not when he/she's a baby. I want to enjoy motherhood. I want to be able to spend as much time as we can monetarily afford with my children. Because (I know I'm not a mom yet, but I am too well aware of this), babies grow up. FAST. And if there's anything I can do to cherish that time with them, I want to do it. There will always be time later to stretch those acting muscles. And, let's be honest here for a moment, I've been auditioning professionally since I was twelve years old. I'm exhausted.
So now, we move on to mommyhood! (Don't worry my dearest progressive women friends, I have many wonderful ideas once my kids get school-aged on ways to continue in my acting passion and be home to give me kids a snack-- I promise!) But for right this moment, I am going to enjoy being pregnant and anticipate my little one!!
For Christmas this year, I got a pregnancy journal from my future son or daughter (already the good shopper! Maybe it's a girl?). But being the procrastinator I am, I have not filled much in past the "my doctor is" section. Soooo I shall use this blog to keep up with my pregnancy. Sadly I'm a child of the future, not the past, and I'm a much faster typer than writer. I will be sharing all the joys (whats the sex, is it kicking, i bought a crib!) and the not so joys (how in God's name am i STILL sick) that I get to experience along the way! If you're interested, read away. If you're not, stop reading :). *I mean seriously what is with people reading other people's blogs just to judge them, if you dont like what you're reading, why are you wasting your time.* But beware, I am a couple weeks behind (I admitted I was a procrastinator, admitting is the first step), so there may be a lot at once. :)
But please join me as Scott and I navigate our way through birthing and raising our baby .... Today, I'm 14 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Buckle up kids, its gonna be a bumpy ride ....
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